Saturday, August 5, 2017
Hey Soul Sister
My sister Kathey came into the world to a teen mom who survived terrible abuse. I'm glad she had my older siblings for company. It mixes up my own feelings because my bond with her seems mostly one way.
I know she said she loved me. When I expressed doubts, she said I didn't know what was in her heart. I will say that is absolutely true. I don't know what is in anyone's heart. I do know what actions they take and Kathey sucked at taking loving action.
There it is. My anger. I guess I do know how/what I feel.
I am angry that she called me on the phone THREE times in my adult life. Once to tell me a cousin I didn't know or remember had died, once to tell me my grandmother had died and finally to tell me my father had died.
I know. None of her failure to bond is really about her. My mother, a deeply troubled woman, raised her first. None of that understanding takes away the pain.
Okay, so now that's off my chest, about my sister... She did take care of me. I had food and shelter and she helped when she could.
She lived a long and decent life. Might be a bit soon at 68, but I'm not in charge of such things.