My Father's Eyes

My daddy Eugene in 2005

Last time I wrote about the Adverse Childhood Experience test and mentioned the companion concept of resilience. Here's the second test to figure out if some factors might have given us some armor against the tsunami of abuse we may have survived.

I wrote before that my daddy loved me. He had his problems and he made mistakes, but he did indeed try his best. I did well in school and I did have teachers who liked me and treated me with dignity and respect. My best friend's mom and dad also provided a safe and calm image of parental figures. I hope you can find lots of times when you had someone helpful from your childhood too.

RESILIENCE Questionnaire

Please number the most accurate answer under each statement:

1. I believe that my mother loved me when I was little.

    1. Definitely True
    2. Probably True
    3. Not Sure
    4. Probably Not True
    5. Definitely Not True            Score          

2. I believe that my father loved me when I was little.

    1. Definitely True
    2. Probably True
    3. Not Sure
    4. Probably Not True
    5. Definitely Not True            Score          

3. When I was little, other people helped my mother and father take care of me and they seemed to love me.

    1. Definitely True
    2. Probably True
    3. Not Sure
    4. Probably Not True
    5. Definitely Not True            Score          

4. I was told that when I was an infant someone in my family enjoyed playing with me, and I enjoyed it, too.

    1. Definitely True
    2. Probably True
    3. Not Sure
    4. Probably Not True
    5. Definitely Not True            Score          

5. When I was a child, there were relatives in my family who made me feel better if I was sad or worried.

    1. Definitely True
    2. Probably True
    3. Not Sure
    4. Probably Not True
    5. Definitely Not True            Score          

6. When I was a child, neighbors or my friends’ parents seemed to like me.

    1. Definitely True
    2. Probably True
    3. Not Sure
    4. Probably Not True
    5. Definitely Not True            Score          

7. When I was a child, teachers, coaches, youth leaders or ministers were there to help me.

    1. Definitely True
    2. Probably True
    3. Not Sure
    4. Probably Not True
    5. Definitely Not True            Score          

8. Someone in my family cared about how I was doing in school.

    1. Definitely True
    2. Probably True
    3. Not Sure
    4. Probably Not True
    5. Definitely Not True            Score          

9. My family, neighbors and friends talked often about making our lives better.

    1. Definitely True
    2. Probably True
    3. Not Sure
    4. Probably Not True
    5. Definitely Not True            Score          

10. We had rules in our house and were expected to keep them.

    1. Definitely True
    2. Probably True
    3. Not Sure
    4. Probably Not True
    5. Definitely Not True            Score          

11. When I felt really bad, I could almost always find someone I trusted to talk to.

    1. Definitely True
    2. Probably True
    3. Not Sure
    4. Probably Not True
    5. Definitely Not True            Score          

12. As a youth, people noticed that I was capable and could get things done.

    1. Definitely True
    2. Probably True
    3. Not Sure
    4. Probably Not True
    5. Definitely Not True            Score          

13. I was independent and a go-getter.

    1. Definitely True
    2. Probably True
    3. Not Sure
    4. Probably Not True
    5. Definitely Not True            Score          

14. I believed that life is what you make it.

    1. Definitely True
    2. Probably True
    3. Not Sure
    4. Probably Not True
    5. Definitely Not True            Score          

How many of these 14 protective factors did I have as a child and youth? (How many of the 14 were scored 1 “Definitely True” or 2 “Probably True”?) _______

Of this score, how many are still true for me today? _______

Over the next few weeks, I'm going to go through each question and share how they relate to real life sutations to enhance recovery from childhood trauma and toxic stress.

Kind comments welcome along with anonymous scores and how you are feeling about them. Be well and know there's hope.